Beyond Guilt and Shame: Reclaiming Your Worth in the Positive Change Process
An advanced group therapy worksheet to help challenge toxic beliefs and build a new, healthier identity
Introduction
Once we’ve have done some work identifying the guilt and shame we carry, the next step is often the hardest: changing the story we tell ourselves about who we are. People who struggle with addiction, trauma, and mental health challenges may carry labels — some given by others, some self-imposed. These labels can become prisons of shame, keeping us stuck in cycles of self-blame, avoidance, or hopelessness.
Sometimes positive change and recovery requires looking back so we can then move forward in a positive direction and keep on moving that way without negative emotions like shame holding us back. We will examine how guilt and shame can shape a person’s identity, then challenge those distorted beliefs, and then discuss how to work toward building a stronger foundation based on your values, choices, and growth.
The Story Shame Tells: As a group, read these common shame-based beliefs. Note any that have ever felt true for you — even if just a little.
Some shame-based thoughts:
“I’m damaged goods.”
“People wouldn’t want me if they really knew me.”
“I almost always eventually screw things up.”
“I’m not worthy of love or compassion”
“I don’t deserve better”
“I’ll never be good enough, no matter what I do.”
“I just don’t belong anywhere”
“I have something wrong with me”
“I’m a burden on others”
Others? – What else might come to mind? (Discuss)
Discussion Questions:
Deep question: What might be an underlying life situation or past and present circumstances behind these shame-based thoughts?
Where do you think these types of beliefs originally came from?
How have these beliefs affected your choices, especially in recovery?
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