This or That

This or That

“This or That” is simple but interesting exercise to build group cohesion and to get people talking and sharing. Take turns going around the room one at a time. When it is a person’s turn, the counselor or group leader should read one of the “This or That” questions below. The group should be asked to guess which choice that they believe the person would pick. Then the person should reveal and explain their answer. Afterward, allow time for others to share their answers as well if others are interested in sharing too. There are additional process questions as well after each “This or That” topic to get the group sharing even more.

This or That Question List

1. You get some unexpected extra money, which are you more likely to do:

a. Treat yourself

b. Treat someone else

? Further Discussion: What are some of the benefits of being generous with other people but what are some signs that people are taking unfair advantage of your generosity?

2. Which of these common fears have you spent more time thinking about in your life?

a. Fear of death

b. Fear of failure

? What are some negative ways in which fear affects you and what are some ways that you can successfully cope with fear?

3. Which do you spend more time doing during your free time?

a. Watching shows and/or movies

b. Scrolling through the internet

? How much is screen time/TV time is “too much” in your opinion and what are some other things you can (or should) do instead?

4. Which one do you feel is worse?

a. Driving too slowly

b. Driving much too fast?

? What can you do to get to places safely when driving and why is this important?

5. A free Saturday is coming up this weekend, which would you usually prefer?

a. Find a fun social activity.

b. Find an enjoyable way to spend time alone or just with immediate family.

? Why can it be important to maintain a healthy balance of social activities and time alone with loved ones?

6. Which is more your comfort zone?

a. Well planned routines

b. Variety and spontaneity

? What are the benefits of both a and b? Why can planning be better especially in early recovery?

7. Which comes more naturally to you?

a. Expressing deep feelings with spoken words in conversation with others.

b. Expressing deep feelings through creativity, art and music?

? Why is it important to have healthy accessible outlets for expressing deep feelings?

8. Which is harder for you when you are angry?

a. Holding back from yelling or cursing at someone

b. Holding back from giving someone a silent treatment

? Why is it important to have healthy coping skills for anger?

9. Faced with a frustrating life situation, which are you more likely to do?

a. Seek someone’s advice and follow it,

b. Keep it to yourself and figure it out on your own.

? Where can you find good advice today that you can trust?

10. Which are you more prone toward doing when you feel wronged?

a. Forgive

b. Hold grudge.

? What are some of the personal benefits of practicing forgiveness?

11. When it comes to news of the country and the world, which do you lean toward?

a. Try to ignore what is going on.

b. Stay informed.

? Why today is it important to find a balance between staying informed about the news but also setting boundaries with overwatching news (aka doom scrolling)

12. Which is a greater struggle for you?

a. Maintaining healthy self-esteem.

b. Controlling aggression.

? Why are some people more inclined to turn negative feelings inward and others tend toward aggression? Why is it important to learn to manage both of these unhealthy reactions?

13. Which is more likely for you?

a. Don’t take enough risks.

b. Take too many risks.

? What are the benefits of risk taking but when is risk taking a bad idea and how do you know?

14. Which is more likely for you to experience?

a. Not getting enough regular exercise

b. Not getting enough rest

? How do you find a balance in life so as to get enough rest and exercise and what are the benefits of both of these important things?

15. Honestly speaking, which is truer for you about values and morals at this point in your life.

a. I know exactly what is most important to me right now in life.

b. I am still figuring it out.

? What is the benefit of developing your own sense of what is important as well as what is right and wrong to you? How is this essential to the recovery and positive change process?

At this point if you want to keep going, feel free to make up some of your own ideas.

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